........except, ya know, for the WORST present EVER......
Sean is dead. He killed himself. Of all days to do it, on my birthday. I know that sounds selfish, but really, any day would have been a bad choice.
He was with us Thursday night to celebrate my birthday, was supposed to meet us at the next bar but never came, and then after I was home Brisbin and I got the horrible, terrible, heart breaking news.
He's gone. Not coming back. Ever.
Nearly everyone I was ever friends with in HS got together tonight at LP's house, to remember, laugh, cheer up some, cry it out, and be around people, instead of sitting at home alone and crying. I kept thinking Sean would just show up, thought I saw him a couple of times around the corner, that grey shirt over there, maybe that was his laugh......but it wasn't.
Hearing "Oh, hey, by the way, Happy Birthday," didn't feel right. Kinda awkward. I guess that's what life is though, a string of awkward events from birth to death.
No Sean. Ever again. Now we're supposed to grieve, get it out, move on. At least that's what I say, and many others do to. But how do you do that? How do you just say, OK, he's NEVER COMING BACK. Gone. Waking up and hoping it was a bad dream can only last so long.
Sean, I miss you, I love you, and I wish you were still here.
~Hilary
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